Empathy: Leaders must connect first to lead successfully
Empathy as a “Hard Skill” to Master for Business Impact
When you focus on empathy, you will see positive impact on your leadership strength! Wait, you think empathy is just a buzz word? You are not clear on why it is so important to leadership? I invite you to take just a few moments to read on about why focusing on this can up your leadership effectiveness, what empathy really looks like and how you can master it.
Why is Empathy a Big Deal?
The strain on our teams did not magically go away when the new year arrived. Great leaders acknowledge the impact of that strain on the likelihood of business success. Add the data proves this.
Studies over the last 20+ years have proven that the most successful leaders have mastered empathy and other indicators of Emotional Intelligence (EI).
According to several such studies referenced in Working with Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, “90% of the difference between average leaders and the best ones is related to emotional competencies. And Emotional competencies were found to be two times as important in contributing to excellence versus pure intellect and expertise.”
There are 12 Emotional Intelligence/Social Intelligence (ESI) competencies as identified per the coursework taught at Case Western University and the work of Richard Boyatzis, professor and author. Within those 12 ESI competencies, there are four that are considered ‘threshold,’ including empathy.
These threshold competencies and associated behaviors leaders must understand and master. Yet studies also show that the same top four ESI competencies are primary leadership derailers, or where they struggle most.
Mastering EI behaviors must be on the learning agenda for the best leaders. The great news is that they are comprised of specific behaviors that can be learned. Starting with empathy is timely and foundational.
What Do We Really Mean by Empathy?
Empathy and the other primary EI competencies can sound abstract and overwhelming until you break them down.
Definitionally, empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being's frame of reference. It also helps to look at it behaviorally, as this may help you visualize the meaning. It starts with deep listening.
To develop this capacity, you should understand and then practice the associated behaviors listed below:
Read individual’s moods and non-verbal cures accurately
Listen attentively to others - to words and the tone
Respect and relate well to people of diverse backgrounds
Understand others’ perspectives, especially when different from your own
Understand the reasons for another’s actions
How Does Empathy Show Up In Leadership Interactions?
How might practicing these behaviors show up in a leadership interaction? To paraphrase Professor Melvin Smith at CWRU, “one doesn’t hear what you know till one knows that you hear.” That means you as the leader must provide clues to let the people around you know you’re listening, you understand, and you empathize.
Whether you are discussing the annual revenue plan, a person’s career goals or chatting about what he/she did over the weekend, try incorporating signaling statements that help you focus, and help them recognize your empathy.
Following are a few sample statements you might use to provide that frame of reference as you are practicing empathy:
I see your frustration, tell me more about that.
I hear your excitement, tell me more about that!
Help me better understand what that means to you.
This sounds very important, tell me more.
Building Empathy to Up Your Game
Now that you recognize the power of Empathy as a key competency in great leaders and realize that the associated behaviors can be learned, it’s time to build it through practice.
“Listening is a magnetic and creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward,” said Karl Menninger.
Substitute the word leaders for friends - The leaders who listen to us are the ones we move toward - and hear the power in these words.
When you better hear and understand a person, you will be significantly more successful in creating the line of sight to the goal for that person. Pick one person or one situation today where you listen empathically.
Ready to start on your path of mastering empathy? Contact us today
Mary Beth Molloy
Certified Executive Coach and Business Consultant, she delivers uncanny focus on the intersection of your business vision and goals and the leaders you’ve entrusted to achieve them.
She knows what it takes to accelerate and elevate business results through leadership development and performance. It’s her powerful blend of these experiences together with her practicality, purpose, and positivity that drive our value.
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